Writing a sick note to work

This is not correct. The recitation in a more simple form dates back to the English Music Hall's of the 's and was printed in the Readers Digest in in the form of a story. The fine Scottish singer and songwriter Dick Gaughan details some of the above on his Homepage together with comments by Sam Hinton.

Writing a sick note to work

Bound to you, even.

You have a few options. You could be the best lover they've ever had, kind, charming, thoughtful, competent, witty, and a tiger in bed. But both of those options demand a lot from you. Besides, your lover or employee will stay only as long as she wants to under those systems, and you want to keep her even when she doesn't want to stay.

How do you pin her to your side, irrevocably, permanently, and perfectly legally? You create a sick system.


A sick system has four basic rules: Keep them too busy to think. If people can stop and think about their situation logically, they might realize how crazy things are. Exhaustion is the perfect defense against any good thinking that might slip through.

Fixing the system requires change, and change requires effort, and effort requires energy that just isn't there. No energy, and your lover's dangerous epiphany is converted into nothing but a couple of boring fights.

This is also a corollary to keeping them too busy to think. Of course you can't turn off anyone's thought processes completely—but you can keep them too tired to do any original thinking. The decision center in the brain tires out just like a muscle, and when it's exhausted, people start making certain predictable types of logic mistakes.

Found a system based on those mistakes, and you're golden. Keep them emotionally involved.

writing a sick note to work

Make them love you if you can, or if you're a company, foster a company culture of extreme loyalty. Otherwise, tie their success to yours, so if you do well, they do well, and if you fail, they fail. If you're working in an industry where failure isn't a possibility the government, utilitiesestablish a status system where workers do better or worse based on seniority.

This also works in bad relationships if you're polyamorous. Also note that if you set up a system in which personal loyalty and devotion are proof of your lover's worthiness as a person, you can make people love you. Or at least think they love you. In fact, any combination of intermittent rewards plus too much exhaustion to consider other alternatives will induce people to think they love you, even if they hate you as well.

Intermittent gratification is the most addictive kind there is. If you know the lever will always produce a pellet, you'll push it only as often as you need a pellet. If you know it never produces a pellet, you'll stop pushing.

But if the lever sometimes produces a pellet and sometimes doesn't, you'll keep pushing forever, even if you have more than enough pellets because what if there's a dry run and you have no pellets at all?

It's the motivation behind gambling, collectible cards, most video games, the Internet itself, and relationships with crazy people. How do you do all this? Keep the crises rolling. Incompetence is a great way to do this: If the office system routinely works badly or the controlling partner routinely makes major mistakes, you're guaranteed ongoing crises.

Poor money management works well, too. So does being in an industry where the clients are guaranteed to be volatile and flaky, or preferring friends who are themselves in perpetual crisis.

You can also institutionalize regular crises: Workers in the Sea Org, the elite wing of Scientology, must exceed the previous week's production every single week or face serious penalties.

Because this is impossible, it guarantees regular crises as the deadline approaches. Regular crises perform two functions: They keep people too busy to think, and they provide intermittent reinforcement.Work Life Etiquette.

How to Write the Perfect Note. Pinterest View All Start Don’t be afraid to send a sympathy note. People shy away from writing because they don’t want to remind the grieving of their loss or they don’t know what to say.

But holding back sends the wrong message.

writing a sick note to work

How to Write the Perfect Note. What to tell your employer and when if you're off sick, how it's paid, doctor's notes and returning to work. Insperity® experts provide tips to help find solutions when employees lie or frequently call in sick. Find ideas to manage employee behavior in this post.

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